Real Men, Real Friends
by Celestial Rainstorm
Summary: When Susan finds herself in a bit of a mess, she knows she has to rely on her friends to help her in her current situation. However, she feels as if they've all ditched her, and she believes that there are no good men - friend or romace - anymore. However, can the guys prove her wrong? Rated T for adult-ish situations, implied/light Dr. C./Susan. Five-shot story.
1. You've Got To Be Kidding Me!

**What's _this_? Cel Rainstorm, THE Celestial Rainstorm, is lurking in the MvA section? What has the world come to? **

**But seriously. I rented this film and fell in love. 9 is still my main guy (the fandom from which you might know me from) but I'm obsessing right now. I had such a writer's burst it wasn't even funny. You'll see a lot more of me around. This story was stemmed from a conversation with my best friend and mother. We were talking about what a real man was, and what he did. Then my BF and I talked about if this...erm, stuff, happened with only a single girl and a group of guys. Therefore, this fluffy little plot bunny was born. Warning, that it's a tad bit more adult than I'm used to writing, but I hope you all enjoy anyway!**

**Warning: clever inferences to girl stuff and fluff between our sweet little gentleman bug and our kind and brave giantess (or, rather, Dr. C/Susan) **

**~Enjoy! Cel**

**(BTW, Monger's first name is Warren. I researched it LOL). **

**Part 1: You've Got To Be Kidding Me!**

The skies over Nevada were bright and sunny that morning. The glorious golden sun was rising slowly into the sky. The arid climate was rather mild that fall day, with just enough of a hint of summer hanging on to make it a perfectly pleasant day. Nevertheless, at a certain Area Fifty-One – erm, ah-heh – I mean, a certain facility, the lovely day was not observed. Not since the entire building and underground dwelling was filled with a high-pitched, horrified scream.

Inside the main common room, a metallic-walled prison cell (which looked much nicer since it had been redecorated for the pleasure of its inhabitants), three bizarre-looking beings were enjoying the morning. They had woken, and gone out into the common room for a peaceful day, merely hanging out. Two of the strange beings, one being a mere glop of bright cerulean goo with a single mahogany eye, the other a finned, scaled fish-ape hybrid of some sorts, were sitting at their table, playing cards. An immense red butterfly-looking creature stood behind the little table, peering at the cards over the blob's "shoulder." The fourth creature, what appeared to be a human man with a large, insect head was tinkering around with a few gears and a wrench. They had quietly waited for their breakfast to arrive, completely content and…suddenly they were trying to catch their breath as the scream echoed throughout the entire facility.

"What…the…_heck_….was _that_?" The scaled, finned man asked in annoyance. He clutched his heaving, dull green chest. Link threw down his cards, (revealing a winning hand) and jumped up from the table. B.O.B. scratched his head and followed The Missing Link as they walked to the center of the common room. Insectosaurus gave a low growl of concern, turning his huge, furred body in the direction of the scream. The last monster, Doctor Cockroach, left his tinkering on the floor as he quickly joined his fellow monsters in trying to deduce the source of the screaming.

"What was that?" Link repeated, looking to his friends in worry.

"What was what?" B.O.B. replied, giving a cheerful, clueless smile. Link rewarded the question with a sharp clout to the back of B.O.B.'s head.

"The scream, idiot!" Link snapped at him. The doctor rolled his large, hazel eyes and proceeded to walk out of the common room. Link and B.O.B ceased their quarreling and followed Dr. Cockroach to…wherever he was going.

"It…almost sounded like our Susan." Dr. Cockroach said worriedly, walking briskly in the direction of the scream. The other two monsters followed, casting worried glances at each other. They walked in silence until they came to a stop…at the closed door…of Susan's restroom. The manufacturers of the facility for the monsters had come up with several ideas to help Susan feel more at home. One of which, was constructing her a proper restroom, a thing which every woman needs. Twenty-foot wide fluffy towels were sewn for three weeks. Soap bars, the size of cars, were made in a huge pot. A fancy shower that had the force of a torrential downpour was also installed. It was extravagant, although, at the moment, Susan didn't seem to be enjoying it very much.

"Um…hello, Susan, dear? Are you in there?" Dr. Cockroach said cautiously, gently rapping on the sixty-five-foot tall door with his knuckle. Link and B.O.B. inclined the sides of their heads to the large barrier, listening for any indication that their friend might be in there…and why she had screamed in terror. Could she possibly be in danger? The three monsters silenced themselves for a moment while waiting for their friend to answer. Instead, they heard something distinct, yet muffled through the door. It was a smallwhimpering sound, and what sounded like sniffling. There was silence between them for a few more moments before the thick and shaky voice of Susan drifted through the door.

"Doc? Are you there?" She asked softly. It was quite obvious that she had been crying. Dr. Cockroach exchanged an extremely apprehensive glance with his two friends before replying.

"Yes, Susan, dear. Are you alright?" He asked through the door. There were another few moments of silence, filled only with Susan's miserable sniffling.

"Can – can you get Monger? I really…I just _really_ need some help." Susan said before she issued another bout of quiet crying. Dr. Cockroach looked back at his friends, his brow furrowed in worry. Link shrugged.

"We'll stay here. You go get Monger, Doc." Link said, putting his webbed hand on the door and giving it a pat. Dr. Cockroach nodded and turned away to go and find their warden. He couldn't help but roll his eyes as B.O.B. called after him, "That's right! You stay here, and I'll go find the General!"

There was a moist-sounding smack, and Link's mutter of, "Idiot."

Ever since the group of monsters had banded together and defeated an evil world-destroying alien and a genetically-altered snail, they had been granted their full freedom, free of any trials or tribulations. Though they still called their cells home, they were allowed to explore the facility as they pleased, and the good Doctor received many waves and greetings from the employees of the Area. He walked briskly to the meeting lounge, where fresh, hot coffee was served every morning for the employees. Dr. Cockroach gently pushed the door open, revealing a big group of people laughing and chatting.

Immediately, the Cockroach man spotted General W.R. Monger with his feet crossed on the table, contentedly sipping his cup of steaming-hot coffee and in a good need of a shave. He was in his "weekend clothes," as he called it, which consisted of a grey sweater and a pair of jeans. Dr. Cockroach approached the table where his warden was sitting, wringing his hands behind his back nervously. What had Susan so upset? She was his very dear friend, and he hated to see, or hear her distressed. General Monger spotted the scientist and gave him a wave.

"Hey there, Doc! What're you up to this early? C'mon, sit down why don'tcha?" Monger asked in his thick Texan accent, slinging his arm over the back of the chair. Dr. Cockroach coughed and approached the table, taking a seat in one of the comfortable silver chairs. Monger took another sip of his coffee while eyeing the scientist curiously. He coughed and leaned forward, speaking as quietly as possible.

"Well, yes, good morning General. You see…ah, Susan seems to be in a bit of distress. She asked for you to come and assist her. May you spare a moment?" He asked. Monger raised a brow in question before taking another long draft of his coffee and throwing the Styrofoam cup over his shoulder. He stood up, the chair legs scraping against the floor, adjusted his belt, and sniffed.

"Well, lead the way, Doc. Let's see what ails our little girl." Monger said brashly, stepping out of the lounge in a military fashion. Dr. Cockroach followed him quickly.

"Alright. Step aside." Monger said, waving a hand at Link and B.O.B. The two monsters stepped backwards, watching Monger intently. They, too, were extremely worried about their friend, currently still in the restroom. She had been silent since Dr. Cockroach had gone to retrieve their warden except for the occasional sniffle. Monger stepped right up to the door and apathetically banged on it with his fist.

"Alright, what is all this about you being in distress and all this junk?" Monger said loudly, crossing his arms and tapping his foot impatiently. They could all hear Susan hiccupping sadly, desperately trying to stop her sobs. There was a pause, and then the distinct click of the brass doorknob turning. The door creaked open just a crack, with one of Susan's bright blue eyes peering down at the men. They were red-rimmed, swimming with tears. The small portion they could see of her cheek was streaked with moisture.

"Hi, General." Susan said meekly. "Um…here…" Susan's large, yet pretty hand extended forward out of the door. A large slip of neatly folded paper was clutched in her fingers. She handed it to the General's waiting hand. He studied her for a moment before unfolding the piece of paper, wondering briefly why the hell she had paper and a pencil in her bathroom. He read the note scrawled neatly on the paper. The three monsters tried to look over his shoulder to see the note. Monger stubbornly kept the note out of sight as he continued to read. He then froze and his jaw dropped. As he finished reading the note, he sighed and slapped his forehead in disgust and disbelief.

"I can't believe this. I can't believe this! I thought since my little girls went off this would be over!" Monger growled to himself, shaking his head. The three monsters looked at him in unknowing curiosity and worry. What could possibly be ailing their Susan? B.O.B. suddenly broke the silence as he rushed up to Monger and seized him by the arms, shaking the General in panicked desperation.

"Is Susan _dying_?! Why?! OH _WHY_?!" B.O.B. sobbed, literally melting into a pile of blubbering goo. Monger shook his arms, trying to dispose of the sticky moisture.

"Susan ain't dying, you big ole' snotball! She, uhhh…" Monger paused, and for one of the few times in their lives, the monsters saw their warden become uncertain and worried. He walked over to Dr. Cockroach and leaned towards his ear. He whispered indistinctly, low enough so the other two could not hear him. Link and B.O.B. watched as Dr. Cockroach.'s large eyes widened and his face fell in horror. A dakr pink blush appeared on his cheeks. He coughed and rubbed the back of his head, trying to decide what to possibly do in this situation.

"What? What's wrong?" Link asked, his brow furrowed in worry. Dr. Cockroach cleared his again and motioned for his friend to approach him. Link did so, and the scientist leaned over, whispering softly in his ear. After a moment, Link shoved Dr. Cockroach away, yelling in disgust.

"You've got to be kidding me! No way, that only happens…naw, c'mon Doc, that ain't funny!" Link said, looking absolutely repulsed. B.O.B. looked from the doctor to the amphibious ape. He looked even more clueless than usual. Dr. Cockroach pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing in exasperation.

"Link, my dear friend, she is a woman! It's not something you can cease because you don't like it." Dr. Cockroach said briskly, straightening. He walked over to Monger, his brilliant mind immediately concocting a plan that was sure to assist their ailing friend. Believe it or not, Dr. Cockroach had dealt with this kind of thing in the past. Although he hadn't brushed up on the subject in fifty years, what he did know was that the female species could very well get moody when this occurred. But what he also did know is that Susan was in a fair amount of pain.

"Alright, my friends. I have a plan to assist our poor Susan." Dr. Cockroach began, but was interrupted by a loud sob of horror.

"What is _wrong_ with Susan? Did she break her brain? Did her arms fall off?" B.O.B. cried, and Link finally backhanded the blubbering blob, tired of his disruption.

"Will you stop? B.O.B., Susan is…erm…" Dr. Cockroach paused, sharing a glance with Link and Monger. Link shook his head, indicating that poor B.O.B. just didn't need to know about this. The others had to learn about this, because, well, it's life. Monger was married and had four little girls. Link had loved terrorizing, and sometimes flirting, with female beachgoers, and Dr. Cockroach was a charming little man. Of course he had a love in his past life, but let's not talk about that now.

"Susan is just really tired." Link said, patting B.O.B. on the back. "You know what Susan would really like?" B.O.B. immediately lit up, grinning widely.

"What? What? What?"

"Susan would love it if you draw her a picture. A pretty picture with all of us in it." Link said, putting on his nicest "pretty-please" face. B.O.B. gasped happily.

"Sure thing, guys! It'll be the best picture ever!" The gelatinous mass cried out, scuttling away quickly, leaving a goopy trail of slime in his wake. He had been given a huge box of Crayola crayons for his last birthday. His friends had all received at least five slime-covered pieces of paper with colorful scribbles on them. But Link was right. Better distract B.O.B. from their current quest at hand. Now that he was taken care of, the insect man turned to his fellows.

"Alright. I have a plan to help our Susan in her…condition. Monger, I need you to go the store for me –" Dr. Cockroach said before he was cut off by an annoyed shout from the General.

"What do I look like to yah, Doc? A nursemaid? I ain't playing no Mommy-Goes-To-The-Store with yah." Monger snapped, crossing his arms. Dr. Cockroach sighed in exasperation.

"Do you want her to remain writhing in pain? Or do you wish to help her?" The mad scientist snapped back, towering over the General. Usually, he didn't like confronting the war major, especially when snapped at. But his dear friend was in pain and suffering. Monger huffed and looked away, showing defeat in the argument.

"Right then. Warren, I shall write you down a list of what I shall need. Link, my friend. Do you happen to know the location of the state of Pennsylvania?" Domctor Cockroach said. Link shrugged, shaking his head. However, Insectosaurus, who had been listening to the entire conversation, and knew quite well what was going on with poor Susan, gave a gentle growl to his friends. Link turned to look up at the butterfly-like creature with skepticism.

"You know where Pennsylvania is? Since when?" Link asked up at him incredulously. Insectosaurus snorted, then roared.

"Yeah, yeah. Alright, furball. Ready for a trip?" Link said, clambering onto the fuzzy back of the immense monster with practiced skill. Dr. Cockroach looked up to them.

"Alright, Insectosaurus, Link. There is a town in that state by the name of Hershey. Hershey, Pennsylvania. I want you to go there, and buy me the largest chocolate bar you can possibly find. Just tell them to put it on Sebastian's tab." Dr. Cockroach instructed. Insectosaurus gave a snort and a nod, while Link just scratched his head in confusion.

"Why do you need chocolate? And who the heck is Sebastian?" He asked, but the scientist below merely waved off his pointless questions.

"Pish-posh, Link. That does not matter now. Can you make the trip in a few hours, or less? You must be back here as soon as possible." Insectosaurus grinned as well as Link. The ape waved a nonchalant webbed hand.

"Piece of cake, Doc." With that, he and his giant insect friend took flight out of the facility. The scientist nodded in satisfaction, hoping with all his might that this was going to help. Out of habit, he whipped his extremely tattered notebook from his lab coat as well as his little wooden pencil. After a few quick calculations, he quickly began to scribble down the list of all of the supplies he needed for Susan. Ripping the piece of paper out of his notebook, he handed in to Monger. After a quick glance at it, the war major looked up at the scientist with disbelief.

"A hundred and seventy-six bottles of…?"

"Yes."

"And a trip to the…"

"Of course."

"And…oh, you have _got_ to be kidding me."

"It is essential, Warren. Now, off you go. I have a rather difficult task ahead of me." Dr. Cockroach said, brushing his spotless white lab coat and straightening the collar of his grey turtleneck. Monger shrugged and began walking off, tucking the list in his jeans pocket.

"Whatever you say, Doc." Monger said as he walked towards his army-green Jeep, grimacing at the thought of the daunting and embarrassing task ahead.


	2. Horrible Friends

**Hey you guys, I'm back! Okay, I got kind-of good reception in the last chapter, so keep those reviews coming! Also, be on alert of a series of drabbles coming from me for this section. They will involve cake and turkey and Psy. **

**~Cel**

**Part 2: Horrible Friends**

"Susan? Susan, my dear? Are you alright?" Doctor Cockroach asked softly, rapping on the bathroom door with a knuckle. He paused for a moment, listening intently for Susan's response. He could hear her sniffling again before the sound of heavy, and yet, dainty footsteps reached him. He took a few steps back as the door before him creaked open slowly. Standing behind it was Susan. Her pretty face was flushed and tear-stained, her brilliant blue eyes red and puffy, and her snowy-white hair all mussed up. She was dressed in heavy black sweatpants and a loose grey T-shirt that were custom made for her. The poor young woman looked positively miserable.

"Oh, my poor dear." Dr. Cockroach said softly, shaking his head in sympathy. Susan had been here only for a little over a month, and she was probably extremely unprepared for something so shocking to strike so hard. She wiped her face with the back of her hand, sniffling again. She forced a smile on her lips, feigning bravery for her dearest friend.

"I'm okay, Doc. I've ruined one of my good wash towels, though." She said bitterly. The cockroach man forty-two feet below her chuckled in empathy and extended his hand upwards to her, as if an offer to caress her face. Susan bent down, the mad scientist below her noticing the grimace of pain she gave and tried to hide. She extended her hand for her friend to climb onto. He neatly sat himself down on the edge of her fingers, holding on tight as she lifted him into the air. Susan lifted Dr. Cockroach onto her shoulder, depositing him beside her ear. He settled down and gave her index finger a brief, comforting squeeze before she dropped her hand.

"It shall be replaced. Come, let us take a walk to the common room." He said. Susan nodded and began to walk, barefooted, to the common room of the monsters. She had her own table, where she sat every morning to drink her mug of coffee and begin the day. However, today she looked positively despondent. She wrapped her arms around herself staring at the ground. The man on her shoulder leaned over from where he sat, placing the back of his hand on her jaw.

"I am so sorry, Susan." He said comfortingly. The poor woman shook with the effort of not crying again. How stupid was this? And to make her friends go through this as well. They probably didn't even know what the hell was happening, or the magnitude of such.

"No, I'm sorry, Doc. I didn't even think about this." She said dejectedly as she sat down in her chair. However, Dr. Cockroach remained on her shoulder, listening to her speak. Sometimes, an ear and a person willing to listen is all a sad woman needs. "I thought, once I was a giant monster, that this wouldn't really happen. I mean…" She finished her sentence with a sigh of defeat. She dropped her head into her hands with a groan. Dr. Cockroach scooted closer to Susan's ear, raising a soothing hand and touching her temple. Susan sighed again, reaching up with a hand and cupping it around her friend.

"My dear girl, I know that every woman goes through this. There is no reason you need to apologize." The scientist said gently, running a few strands of snowy hair between his deft fingers and absentmindedly beginning to braid it. He knew a few tactics in order to calm upset women. Playing with their hair was one of them. Or, at least, it worked with English women. He had to keep reminding himself American women were much different. Nonetheless, Susan didn't make one objection to the attention

"I know, but it isn't fair to get you guys all mixed up in this. I just didn't know what to do. Link and Monger must be so embarrassed. How're Insectosaurus and B.O.B. taking it?" Susan asked, turning her head to look down at her friend, still perched on her shoulder.

"Actually, we felt it best to keep this from B.O.B. Insectosaurus is just fine with it. And Link and Warren aren't embarrassed. Just…rather surprised. And don't you worry, my dear. I've sent them all out to assist you. Everything will be alright." Dr. Cockroach said soothingly. Susan gave a weak smile, which quickly faded into a frown.

"Yeah, but…_why_? There's no point!" Susan said, her long, elegant fingers curling into fists. Dr. Cockroach tensed up, ceasing braiding her hair. He saw her fists begin to shake, and he took that as his cue to get off of her shoulder as quickly as possible. He slid down her arm and landed on the table, standing up. He was quite lucky in being able to spot the signs of when a woman is about to explode. Because that is just what Susan did in that moment. She stood up, the chair legs scraping against the metal floor. She seized the chair and, with a scream of frustration, threw it across the room. It struck the ground with a formidable _clang_, landing on its side. Dr. Cockroach jumped in surprise. Susan stood there panting, her lower lip quivering.

"_What is the point_?! I am a _giant woman_, for God's sake! The cramps are ten times more painful, and- and – I mean, I'm never having kids _anyway_! So why do I have to go through this _torture_?!" She screamed the questions at no one in particular. With that, she seized the table. Dr. Cockroach, who was still standing on the table, gave a surprised cry. He clambered down the table leg as quickly as possible. Yet, he was merely halfway when the table was violently flung onto its side. He made a jump at the last minute, landing gracefully on the ground. A very angry Susan proceeded to use her immense strength to destroy the common room. Her fists left huge dents in the metallic walls. The table and chair were soon smashed to bits. All the while, Susan screamed and sobbed in frustration.

Doctor Cockroach backed up quickly, making no attempt to stop her from her rampage. His shaking hands made their way to his pocket, where he extracted a thin cell phone (Gifted to him by Susan, insisting everyone keep one after a strange incident in France). Sliding it open, he pressed the number as fast as his trembling fingers would allow. Holding the phone up to his ear, he heard the ring three times before a very strained, dark voice answered, "….What."

"Hello, General. I just wanted to check up on your progress. How are you faring in your task?" The scientist asked, trying to hide the desperation in his voice.

"How do yah think I'm doin'?" Monger bellowed over the phone, making Dr. Cockroach's ears ring. "Apparently Wal-Mart has a new law against buying a hundred and seventy-six bottles of god damn Midol! Did you know about that, Doc? _Hmmm_? I'm standing here looking like a fool with a shopping cart full of pills! What'dya think they think?" Dr. Cockroach sighed softly. He really hadn't considered that variable. Suddenly, the phone vibrated in his hand, indicating that he had a call coming in.

"Ah, Monger? I must go, but please, do what you can for Susan." Dr. Cockroach said pleadingly. He hung up just in time to hear a bout of colorful profanity issued at him. Pressing another button, he was immediately connected with Link.

"Alright, genius. I'm here in this stupid town with a chocolate bar the size of you. But, I don't have any dough to pay for it. This lady here says I can't put it on a tab that hasn't been used for fifty years. And who the heck is Sebastian Collins? Was he some dude you experimented on?" Link asked in exasperation. Dr. Cockroach rolled his hazel eyes.

"Something of that nature, yes. Anyway, Link, try and persuade them. Please, tell them it's an emergency…" he glanced over at Susan, who was proceeding to grab her chair and rip it apart. "A dire emergency." He heard Link sigh in frustration over the phone, making the speaker crackle. It was interrupted by another loud clang, and shrieking metal as Susan managed to tear one of the legs from the table. Fresh tears streamed down her cheeks as she continued her frustrated temper-tantrum. There was a pause on the phone, and then Link's shocked and worried voice.

"What…was that?" He asked cautiously, not really knowing if he wanted to know the answer. Dr. Cockroach sighed to himself and glanced over at Susan, concern for his friend filling him to the very brim. She continued to rip the table apart, and he knew that Monger was not going to be happy. Oh well, at least the manufacturers would receive some well-eared overtime pay.

"A dire emergency, Link. Hurry it up." Dr. Cockroach said before he hung up the phone and stuffed it back into his pocket. He sighed again, wondering how he could possibly pacify the rampaging female before his friends arrived back home. He ran a hand over his smooth head, bending his antennae backwards. Although he was brilliant and intensely intellectual, the poor scientist was running out of ideas for what to do in this instance. Swallowing nervously and adjusting his sweater collar, the insect man walked slowly up to the giant woman. She had finished her work in destroying the table and was now sitting down, panting from exertion. She pulled her knees to her chest, shaking. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she buried her face in her hands. Doctor Cockroach approached her silently. He halted beside her right foot, reaching out with a consoling hand to pat her immense ankle.

"Dearest Susan. It's alright. Our friends shall be back before we even know it! Then you shall feel much better. However, in the interim, perhaps –" The doctor began before he had to take a leap backwards to stay clear of Susan's mighty swing.

"What do you care? What do any of them care? Have they even ever _seen_ a woman?" Susan growled, standing up once more. Dr. Cockroach skittered out of the way of the feet of the giant woman before she crushed him. Not that he would die – but it wasn't good for the back. "Monger hasn't had to deal with this in years! He told me his girls all went off to college. Link? He hasn't seen a woman since those bikini-clad sticks on Cocoa Beach! Do any of you know how hard this is for me? To be the only girl, surrounded by nothing but a bunch of stupid guys? But I'm trying to be brave! I'm trying to look on the bright side and give this a shot! At least I somewhat fit in here! But _noooooo_! Not at all! I have to be the only woman! And when I really need some help, you guys are off gallivanting around!"

"Y'know, since Derek I've learned what a real man is. It doesn't matter if you're a monster, or an alien, or a human," Susan continued her rant as she restlessly paced around the common room. "What matters is that you take care of your woman, or even a friend who happens to be female. Right now, that happens to be me. That is what real men do. They don't care if they're embarrassed. They show that they love their friend, no matter what she has to deal with!" Susan suddenly stopped, and turned sharply. Her puffy blue eyes locked right on the scientist below. He froze as well, finding himself shuddering at where her upset monologue was heading next. He soon found out as Susan pointed an accusing finger in his direction.

"You! I just bet that they used you to distract me! Pretending to listen to what I have to say. Y'know, while growing up, all the guys picked on me. I tried to be nice, and I remember them pushing me down in the mud. That's why I tried so hard to love Derek. I thought I'd found a real, loving guy. I tried to think that not all guys are bad. Well, you're proving me wrong, aren't you?! You guys seemed to care – to really, kinda love me – and then, at the first sign of trouble, it's, 'Let's ditch Susan! She won't care!' Well, you know what guys?! I KIND OF _DO_!" Susan screamed, punctuating the final word with a fearsome backhand in Dr. Cockroach's direction. The poor insect man couldn't scurry out of the way fast enough. The tip of Susan's fingers clipped him in the side, sending the poor scientist flying with a startled cry. He hurtled right into the destroyed table and finally landing on the floor with a dull _thud_. He lay on his back for a few seconds, motionless. Susan gasped in horror, freezing for a few seconds, her hands flying to her mouth in shock. She then rushed over to the ruins of the table immediately reaching forward with a hand. With as gentle a pressure she could muster, she slipped her fingers underneath the motionless Dr. Cockroach His large hazel eyes were closed, and his arms and legs hung limp from Susan's hand as she lifted him towards her.

"Oh God, oh, Doc! Doc, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to. I really didn't! Please wake up, Doc, I didn't mean it!" Susan sobbed, giving the stunned scientist a brief shake. His eyes fluttered open and he slowly sat up, giving a small groan as his back audibly creaked.

"Oh, dear. Ah…what a…what a good, ah…um, workout! Yes! It does wonders for the exoskeleton! Ah-heh-heh…" The doctor chuckled good-naturedly. He tried to stand in Susan's hand, visibly wincing in pain as he straightened his back. Not to mention the intense jolt of pain that streaked through his shoulder. He was half-cockroach, after all, and it would be rather difficult to actually hurt and, or, kill him. But Susan was pretty strong. The poor woman lifted the aching doctor to her face for a closer inspection.

"Oh, my God! Are you okay? Oh, thank goodness you're okay." Susan said, holding him up to her cheek in relief, her own variation of a hug. Dr. Cockroach grunted as her hand was pressed against his aching back, his shoulder pressed up against her cheekbone. Susan heard him, and pulled him away, looking upon him with shock.

"You're hurt! I hurt you! Oh…" Susan cried, her lower lip trembling. She gently lowered her friend to the floor, depositing him quickly and standing up. He stumbled slightly, rubbing the back of his head. One of his antennae was bent forward at a sharp angle. He reached up and gently straightened it, wincing as he did so. Susan stared down at him with a look of misery and horror etched onto her face. The poor woman just simply couldn't take it any longer. Tears leaked out of her eyes as Dr. Cockroach looked up at her.

"Oh, my dear, please don't cry. It's alrigh –" He began gently, before he was cut off by Susan's sobbing. She buried her face in her hands, walking past him briskly.

"I'm so sorry. I'm such a horrible friend! No wonder the other guys took off." Susan sobbed as she walked to her room, striking a button pad next to the entrance with her fist. The enormous door slammed shut, making the entire common room shake. Doctor Cockroach looked after his friend, frowning dejectedly. He sighed and sat down on a piece of the ruined table, putting his large head in his hands. He was going to have to work fast for his plan to help Susan. He loathed seeing his dearest friend in so much pain, both physically and emotionally. It just couldn't be helped – that much he knew. Not without the proper ingredients.

Sighing again, the mad scientist slowly slid down onto the floor. He neatly shrugged his lab coat from his shoulders, leaving only his grey turtleneck in its place. Deftly folding the garment into a perfect square he placed it behind his head and lay down, right there on the floor. Feeling defeated and empty the cockroach man proceeded to stretch out his aching back and shoulder. His bent antennae twitched as he stared and the fluorescent lights. With that, he progressed to quietly reciting the Periodic table to himself as he awaited the much-anticipated return of his friends.


	3. All The Right Ingredients

**Hey, guys! How're you all doing? Isn't this awesome, we're finally on winter break! And the world didn't end! (Like it ever was going to. If the aligning of the planets was going to do something catastrophic, it would have already happened. Ironically I watched _2012_ last night). **

**So here's Part Three! A tad shorter than the others, but anyway, I hope everyone enjoys! Have a happy holiday season everyone! Also, the facts about the girl's brain and chocolate is entirely true. There's your two cents of useless facts for the day. XD **

**~Cel **

**Part 3: All The Right Ingredients**

It wasn't until there were footsteps behind him and annoyed voices working their way into his ears that Doctor Cockroach realized he had fallen asleep. Yawning and stretching his still-aching back, the scientist blinked in the bright light of the fluorescent bulbs high above his head. Extremely stiff, he rolled over to his knees and hands, standing up and rubbing one of his large hazel eyes. They fell upon three figures staring at him, all annoyed.

Monger looked like a volcano on the edge of erupting. His face was beat red, sweat dripping from his brow and upper lip. In his hands he clutched five enormous Wal-Mart bags that all shook with the distinct sound of about a thousand pill caplets. Next to him stood Link, his arms crossed over his chest and one of his feet tapping against the floor. Even Insectosaurus looked annoyed. His furry red-pink brow was furrowed over his golden eyes. In one claw, he held the largest Hershey bar Dr. Cockroach had ever laid eyes upon. In another one of his claws, he held a long cable, which attached to a large trailer. On top of the trailer was an enormous cardboard box. Printed on the outside of the box was a colorful picture with stars and cotton, the manufactures' name printed in neat letters.

"You…have…no idea what I had to do to get all this junk." Monger said through his teeth. He proceeded to throw down the two plastic shopping bags and approach the insect man. His fists shook with fury, and all of the hardened years of war seemed to escalate his unimaginable wrath.

"I did things no man should have to. I already went through this five different times, and I come home to see the fabulous genius taking himself a little nappy time." The general lifted his hands. "I know you can't crush a roach, Doc. But let's see if you can strangle the poor bastard!" Monger shrieked as he then leapt at Dr. Cockroach. The scientist gave a startled yelp and scurried away from him. It almost looked like a cruel musical chairs game as the war general chased the monster man through the debris. He didn't even seem to notice the table in his absolute anger. Dr. Cockroach finally managed to leap behind Link. The amphibious ape turned around to give his friend an annoyed glance.

"Monger's right, Doc. We bent over backwards to get this done for Susan. What about you, huh? Did you get tired playing patty-cake or something?" Link asked. His sarcastic tone grated right through the scientist, completely brushing him the wrong way. The usually composed, sophisticated man scoffed and stuttered in Link's face, too enraged to speak properly.

"H-How dare you! Are you so blind as to see the huge pile of destruction our dear Susan has left behind? While on your tasks, I was faced with trying to deal with a giant woman throwing a temper tantrum! She managed to strike me, right into that metal bar! So, no, Link. I wore myself out trying to console the poor dear. How can you or I possibly fathom what she is going through? The pain she is forced to endure? I asked you three to complete these tasks for her! She is part of our family now. It is our job to take care of her while she is in distress." Dr. Cockroach finished, clenching his jaw and straightening the collar of his sweater. Link's arms slowly uncrossed and his face fell. Monger crossed his own arms and looked like a stubborn, ninety-year-old child. Even Insectosaurus looked guilty. Link sighed and nodded.

"You're right, Doc. We gotta help Suzie. She's like…like our sister or something now. C'mon, you guys." He motioned for Insectosaurus and Monger to come closer to them. Insectosaurus leaned down, setting the chocolate bar on the ground for a moment. Link watched him and then turned to the good doctor. "Hey, who the heck is this Sebastian guy, anyway? Once I got the cashier lady to open the tab and his bank account, her jaw dropped. This guy's loaded! Over a million bucks in a bank account that's been unused for fifty years. That guy's gotta get a life, spend a little dough! The candy didn't even make a dent in his account!" Link said in wonder, scratching his chin and briefly concocting a plan of how to access the account again. Dr. Cockroach snapped him out of his reverie with a sharp cough.

"Yes. Well, Link, he was a very brilliant scientist – a, uh, friend of mine. Before the accident. Anyway, swell job on the candy. Very well done." Dr. Cockroach gave a nod of pride and appreciation to Link before turning briskly to Monger, who was walking over to them reluctantly. Link gasped in realization behind him, and said, "Hey, wait a minute –" The scientist made sure to cut him off sharply by addressing the sulking General.

"Alright, Warren. I trust the box contains the…?" He said, and Monger nodded, crossing his hands behind his back. His anger seemed to have melted away. He tilted his chin upwards in pride.

"Yep. The biggest one's ever made. Last her for a year. I convinced the general manager to start production on them for Susan. For a substantial fee, of course. But who the hell would want to break a record by making _those_? They must've used at least a million fields of cotton for that stuff." Monger speculated. Dr. Cockroach rolled his eyes and placed a hand on the General's shoulder.

"Thank you very much, Monger. I cannot fathom to you how this has helped. And how it will help Susan in the future. And you too, Link. You see, the women's brain has specially evolved receptors that we men do not possess. These receptors are specifically designed to receive the chemicals in the cocoa bean, hence the chocolate bar. The receptors therefore trigger the brain chemical of dopamine, which calms ailing women and aids with the pain. A candy this size would be the only thing that would affect our dear Susan, I'm afraid." Dr. Cockroach said, walking up to the bar and placing a hand on it. Link just stared at him as he tried to unwind the mumbo-jumbo gibberish the scientist had just mumbled. The doctor smiled gently to himself. The plan was going to work. Straightening, he turned once more to Monger.

"Warren, if you could, please retrieve Susan's coffee mug and fill it with her favorite tea. That would be the simple green with a dash of sugar, no cream. Keep the bags steeping, at a tepid temperature. Empty all of the pill bottles into the cup. Stir it counter-clockwise for about thirty seconds. Link, assist him in doing this. Get the other employees to help, if you can. Insectosaurus, if you may please help them in the heavy lifting, it would be much appreciated." Dr. Cockroach instructed. Monger saluted him, accepting the task as a good war general should. Turning sharply, he began to march himself out of the common room. Link followed, heaving the huge Hershey chocolate bar onto his back with a grunt. Insectosaurus proceeded to turn away with a deep trill, dragging the trailer behind him. Dr. Cockroach called after him.

"Just put that in Susan's restroom, will you?" He said, and the large butterfly-like creature gave a loud warble in consent. When the three were out of the room and proceeding to accomplish their given tasks, Doctor Cockroach turned to the door which led into Susan's room. He walked up to it, nervously picking at his collar and absentmindedly twisting his clean-cut moustache between his index finger and his thumb. Running his hand over his chin reminded him that he needed to shave tomorrow morning, as it was a bit stubbly there. With his collar wrinkled and one corner of his moustache messily curled, Dr. Cockroach raised a hand to knock on the door of his friend. Gulping, he rapped his knuckle three times on the large metallic egress, waiting for a response…


	4. Comforts From A Cockroach

**Only one chapter to go! Yay! Thanks to all my reviews, I really appreciate every last one! Also, Alice Granger is an OC of mine, and I'll mention her in other stories. Enjoy the chapter, and don't FORGET TO REVIEW! I prompt everyone to join the Review Revolution - no matter how bad the story or chapter, you will review every single one you read. Spread the love! **

**Also, saw _Rise of the Guardians_ tonight. O...M...F...G...I was freaking blown away. My heart thumped through the whole thing. Like Pixar this year, Dreamworks finally outdid itself. I knew they were capable. Expect shippings and stories from me XD **

**~Cel **

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW PLZ PLEASE PLEASE! **

**Part Four: Comforts From a Cockroach**

"…Who is it?" A trembling voice asked. Doctor Cockroach could hear Susan sniffling and whimpering softly. He grimaced – she had been crying for quite some time. The poor dear, having to suffer like this. It was times like this Doctor Cockroach was thankful he was a man. Needless to say, that didn't discontinue his extreme concern and sympathy for the girl inside the room. He knocked again to remind her that someone was at the door, realizing he had paused for a few moments to recollect his thoughts.

"Susan, it's me. Please my dear, open the door. I wish to speak with you." Dr. Cockroach asked softly. He stood straight, waiting for Susan to either allow him entrance or reject his company. He seriously hoped that it wasn't the latter of the two, not that he'd every say that to anyone. There was a tense pause before Dr. Cockroach heard the distinct _whoosh_ of the door sliding upwards, revealing a woman's room. Now that this was her home, the facility's psychologist had completely redecorated the cell. It was fairly similar to Susan's old room back in Modesto. There were a set of twin Tiffany-style lamps, a large, comfy loveseat, a huge bookcase filled with gigantic books, and an enormous comfortable bed. Within that bed, curled up underneath her blankets, was a sniffling Susan. Dr. Cockroach entered the room, making his way over to the bed. Once he was in the room, the door immediately closed behind him. The only light came from the faint lava-lamp-like nightlight in the corner of the woman's chamber which had to be kept away from the ever-fascinated B.O.B. Dr. Cockroach halted beside the foot of the bed, peering up at the miserable woman.

"May I come up, my dear?" He asked softly, as the gentleman he was. There was a pause, and then Susan nodded.

"Go ahead." She whispered meekly. Dr. Cockroach proceeded to skitter up the bedpost with no trouble whatsoever. He stepped onto the bed beside the lump under the blanket he assumed were Susan's large, yet dainty feet. She was curled up tightly under two blankets that were held close her body. They were pulled up right to her chin, and her eyes were even puffier and her cheeks even redder. She was having one hell of a bad day. Dr. Cockroach clasped his hands behind his back and walked the length of Susan's body, coming to a stop beside her face. She looked up at him with miserable eyes, her lower lip trembling. He smiled gently at her and sat down, crossing his legs.

"Oh my dear. My dearest Susan. It's been quite a day, hasn't it?" Dr. Cockroach said, scooting slightly closer to his giant friend. Susan's face screwed up as if she was going to burst into tears again, her lower lip quivering. She nodded, lifting a hand out from underneath a blanket. In that hand she clutched a wadded tissue. Wiping her nose and sniffling, she curled back up underneath the blanket after depositing the tissue in a large dustbin beside her bed.

"I'm so, _so_ sorry Doc. I didn't mean to hurt you. I just got so angry." She sniffed and continued. "I got angry because I felt like I couldn't find one good man in my life, besides my daddy. Derek was a stupid selfish jerk. I can't believe it took me so long to see him for what he really was. When this happened when I was engaged to Derek, he just ignored me and pretended that it was for my own good – 'It's gonna make you stronger, Susan.'" She said mockingly, preforming a pretty good impression of Derek's whiny voice. "I felt like you guys were ditching me. I'm really sorry. I know that you guys would never do something like that. You're the greatest friends I've ever had. I didn't mean the things I said. Not one bit. I – I'm so sorry." Susan finished, burying her face into her pillow. Dr. Cockroach offered her a gentle smile and got to his feet, walking even closer to her. He sat down right next to her cheek, lifting a hand and placing it gently on her cheekbone. She opened her eyes at the touch and peered at the man next to her. He may have been much smaller than her, but to her, it didn't matter. Her friend was here, comforting her in her time of need.

"I understand Susan. Dearest Susan. I understand how hard this is for you. Remember, I was human once. As a scientist, I had many female acquaintances. Especially when we gathered for our annual science conventions. I often shared a hotel room with women. Sometimes, this happened to them. So, my dear, I really do understand. While I am unlike Monger, for I had no children or mate, I still found myself being asked by a lovely girl by the name of Alice Granger one convention to help. It had come on so suddenly, she was trapped in the hotel room. How could I say no? I distinctly remember there being a blizzard on that occasion. It was snowing so hard I couldn't even spot the Big Ben clock tower – we were stationed right next to it, mind you! But Alice was able to attend the next day's convention, and she even received an award for innovation." Dr. Cockroach finished his story with a chuckle at the memory. It had been quite a while since he had thought about Alice – or his past life, for that matter. It was rather astonishing that he was able to remember that much, and Susan couldn't help but smile at the story.

"Poor Alice. I bet the ladies were all over you, Doc. It's hard to find a man who would do something like that – and with a blizzard!" Susan said, forcing a giggle and trying her paramount best to keep the bitterness out of her voice. Needless to say, Dr. Cockroach chuckled and shook his head at Susan's comment.

"Alas, I never found myself with that kind of companionship. I was too in love with my work." Dr. Cockroach said, shaking his head and grinning. It had been all too true…even if he did bend the truth a little. Looking up at Susan, he continued. "And I am not the only one here who understands your predicament. Link, Insectosaurus, and Monger all understand. Yes, perhaps they are stubborn and embarrassed. But that's natural for men, Susan. Remember that they all care deeply for you. They were just as unprepared as you were, my dear. They did not ditch you, as you believe. They were out to help you. You are a part of our family now, Susan. And we monsters help our own." Dr. Cockroach said gently, reaching up with a hand to wipe away some of the moisture from Susan's cheeks with a thumb. Susan looked thoughtful for a moment, and then smiled widely.

"I couldn't ask for better friends. Thank you." She said softly, bringing up a hand to cup around the scientist. Her fingers wrapped around him lightly, bringing him to the crook of her neck for a tender embrace. The mad scientist couldn't help the small smile that crept onto his lips. Lifting his hands, he patted her neck, closing his large hazel eyes for a moment. Susan then scooped him up in her hand and deposited him in front of her. She opened her mouth to say something, but the words quickly morphed into a deep yawn. Dr. Cockroach chuckled.

"You're exhausted. Come now, why don't you rest for a while?" He said, patting her hand and turning away to leap off the bed. However, he suddenly felt a gentle pressure on his shoulder, halting his departure. Turning around in surprise, he found that it was Susan's index finger that held him. As he turned around to face her, he saw that her expression looked embarrassed and slightly guilty.

"Sorry, Doc…but, uhm…c-can you stay with me?" She said softly. Dr. Cockroach blinked a few times in surprise. Then, he smiled softly, understanding that Susan did not need a reason for her want of company. Of his company. He walked over to her and sat down next to her jaw. He crossed his legs, touching his fingers to her cheek and smiling up at her.

"Of course, my dear." He said, and she smiled tenderly at him. Her heavy eyelids slowly slid over her brilliant blue eyes, and within moments, Susan was sound asleep. The sound of her deep, peaceful breathing filled the quiet room. Dr. Cockroach smiled tenderly at her before reaching up and slowly taking a lock of snowy white hair. He ran her soft tresses through his incredibly small fingers, and then began to braid them once more. The repetitive movements of his hands and fingers was soothing, and her quiet breathing was so peaceful…and it was so pleasantly quiet and dark in here…closing his eyes for five minutes wouldn't hurt anyone …


	5. Real Men Real Friends

**I lied. This story actually came out to be longer than expected, so it's a five-shot (if such a thing exists). But yeah, here is the last chapter of _Real Men, Real Friends_! I hope you all enjoyed my first MvA fic, and continue to read and review! Have a nice day to EVERYONE! **

**And a special shout-out to by best friend Aiden for editing the entire document and making it so much better. Love yah, friend. **

**~Cel**

**Part Five: Real Men, Real Friends**

Oh, how he hated that infernal sound. Snickering. Snickering indicated that someone was being made fun of, and that victim was usually him. He was jolted out of his second peaceful nap that day by the dreadful sound. Sighing to himself, he opened one eye to see the door opened, and three shadowy beings standing at the entrance. Blinking in the sudden light, Dr. Cockroach groaned to himself and turned away, burying his face in something soft and smooth. He didn't want to deal with the immature monsters who adored playing pranks on him. He was far too tired, and he was peaceful and comfortable. It was then that his eyes snapped open, and he realized he had just snuggled himself into Susan's neck. Leaping backwards, his cheeks burning with embarrassment, the scientist coughed and brushed off his front. The sudden movement roused Susan from her peaceful sleep as well. Her eyes blinked open and she yawned, stretching.

"What's goin' on, Doc?" She asked groggily, rubbing her eyes and peering around in the darkness for him. He looked down at the three beings, obviously Link, B.O.B. and Monger. Leaping down from the bed gracefully, Dr. Cockroach turned up to Susan and smiled.

"Why don't you come down, my dear? We have something for you." He called up to her as she raised her head to look at her friends standing at the doorway. Dr. Cockroach then walked over to the three, who were covering their mouths with their hands and continuing to snicker at their insect friend. Even Monger couldn't hide his smug smile. Dr. Cockroach leaned towards them, whispering threateningly.

"You three say one word, and I shall proceed to experiment on you for a month." He hissed, his eyes glowing with fury. Link held up his hands in defeat, and B.O.B. put his hands behind his back. They both still grinned, still struggling not to laugh at finding the scientist all snuggled up with Susan and snoozing together. And in nothing but his turtleneck, even! Poor guy, trying so hard to hide his little secret…

The doctor stood tall, brushing off his front and straightening his collar. Coughing sharply to get the others to focus, Dr. Cockroach turned to Susan. She was pulling back the blanket and slowly lowering herself to the floor. Crossing her legs, she leaned down to the boys, looking at them curiously.

"Alright, Insecto. C'mon in." Link called over his shoulder. The gigantic creature lumbered into view, holding a massive metal tray in his two front claws. Trilling softly, he squeezed himself into the room (which was just tall enough for the largest of the monsters to fit into). Smiling sweetly down at Susan, he bent forward and set the tray down on the ground. He was very careful not to bump into anything or knock anything over. Susan blinked in surprise, and then she smiled widely. On the tray was her mug, full of warm green tea. There was also the biggest chocolate bar she had ever seen, a tiny little bow attached to a corner. On the other side of the mug was a folded piece of paper. She picked up the paper and unfolded it, reading the large printed words. The note simply explained what was in the tea, and what was waiting for her in the restroom. Her smile grew even wider as tears welled up in her eyes. This time, however, they were not tears of misery and frustration. They were tears of happiness. Refolding the note, she placed it down by the mug of tea. Taking the tray, she scooted it to the side, then held out her hands to her friends – to her boys.

"Aw, guys. You are the greatest friends anyone could have. The best I've ever had. I can't thank you enough for helping me right now. This…this is amazing. Really amazing. You five really are the best." She said tearfully, scooping her hands behind Doctor C., Link, and B.O.B. They were literally swept off their feet as the giant woman gently took them into her hands. She pressed them to her cheek, embracing them tightly and tenderly. She smiled happily, closing her eyes and feeling more lucky and thankful than she ever had in her life. How could she possibly think that they had ditched her? They had gone out to get the things she needed and even the items that would make her feel better.

All three of the monsters grinned at each other. They had succeeded, and at least she wasn't destroying the common room anymore. They shared victorious fist-bumps and high-fives with one another before turning to Susan. B.O.B., with that huge, silly grin on his cerulean face, stuck himself to Susan's cheek with utter happiness. Link grinned, shook his head, and then allowed himself to hug his friend as well, patting her nose playfully. Susan wriggled her nose and giggled. Dr. Cockroach merely smiled at her, at her happy face, at her glowing beauty. He too, then leaned forward, resting the side of his head against her cheek and stroking her soft smooth skin gently. Susan opened her eyes for a brief second, and grinned. With her free hand, she gave Insectosaurus a well-earned tummy rub. As she ran her fingers through his soft fur, he purred deeply, and then shrieked softly, followed by a low roar. Link pulled away from Susan for a moment, nodding.

"You're totally right, Insecto. Suzie, it wasn't just us. You see, Doc's the one who arranged this whole adventure. You better thank bug-brain over there double-time. We were just the muscle...and the good looks." Link teased, flashing the good doctor a sharp-toothed grin while slicking back his cranial fin. Dr. Cockroach rolled his eyes, but couldn't get rid of his grin. Link had teased him for almost fifty years, but together, they had made their friend very happy. Susan leaned back and looked down at the three monsters in her hand. She smiled down at her boys with love, before bringing them back up to her face and nuzzling them playfully with her, though proportionally tiny, large nose. They all laughed as she tickled them. Link pushed her away, grinning widely.

"Yeah, yeah, enough mush, Suzie." He said, pretending to wipe his cheeks of the awful girl-cooties. He then turned to B.O.B., who was continuing to grin like everything was right in the world. Link put an arm on B.O.B.'s shoulder. B.O.B. rotated his single eye to peer at Link in question.

"Hey, didn't _you_ do somethin' for Susan, too?" Link asked, raising a brow and winking. B.O.B. just stared blankly at him for a moment, the brainless, adorable pile of gloop looking like he was trying to comprehend what Link was talking about. Then, suddenly, he jumped up with a terrific shout, throwing his hands in the air.

"Aw, yeah! I'll go get it! Wait right here." He said, his expression suddenly going serious. Jumping from Susan's hand, he landed on the floor with a distinct squelching sound. His form wobbled, and then he giggled before scurrying away out of the room leaving a slime trail behind him. Monger sighed, knowing that he would have to call the facility's janitor in here before someone slipped and broke their neck. Link chortled at the ever-amusing antics of his blob of a friend before leaping from Susan's hand and onto the belly of Insectosaurus.

"You were great, Insecto! Who's a good butterfly, huh? Who's a good butterfly?" Link said to Insectosaurus, who gave his best friend a loud, grumbling trill. Dr. Cockroach watched with amusement as Link scuttled up and down the butterfly monster's fuzzy body, tickling him as he went.

"Hey, Doc?" Susan said softly while the others were distracted with their own activities. Monger watched Insectosaurus and Link play, his hands crossed behind his back and a small grin on his old face. Dr. Cockroach looked up at Susan in question. She was smiling tenderly, looking much happier than she was this morning.

"Thank you. For everything." She said softly, raising the hand that the scientist stood on. With her other hand, she touched her index finger to her lips, and then brought it down to Doctor C., tapping the very tip of his nose with her finger. He blinked in surprise, feeling his cheeks burning even redder than they already were. His antennae twitched, drooping and then perking up. He could only stand there for a moment trying to remember his name. It was then he realized that Susan was watching him, and he could swear Insectosaurus was peering down at him with one eye. Out of habit he coughed and fidgeted with his turtleneck collar. He then smiled up at Susan.

"You're quite welcome, my dear. Anytime." He said gently. The two shared a smile as B.O.B. rocketed into the room, moving as fast as an animated azure globule could possibly go. Clutched in his hands was a large piece of paper, almost as wide as he was. He waved it in the air, capturing everyone's attention.

"Hey, Susan! Hey, Susan! Hey, Susan! I drew a picture! And it's for you! Here, Susan! Look at the picture I drew for you!" B.O.B. yelled happily, bouncing around and making it nigh impossible for the giggling woman to grab it from B.O.B.'s waving hands. She finally gripped it between her index finger and thumb, lifting from B.O.B.'s grasp and turned it right-side up to analyze the very special drawing. Upon looking at it, she giggled. It was obviously colored with crayon, but quite good considering B.O.B.'s standards. She could easily recognize her face, with a big smile and snowy white hair. Next to her was the good glob himself, a mere blue cylinder with a rounded head, one eye, and a smile extending all around his face. Link looked like…well, Link, though B.O.B. drew his legs a bit too stubby. Dr. Cockroach had a rounded head and very big eyes, sitting on Susan's shoulder. In the drawing, he looked like a famous extra-terrestrial from an old movie. Insectosaurus was fitted in the background, appearing to be flying high over their heads, as he was drawn quite small.

"Awww, B.O.B. that is so sweet! Thank you!" Susan said as he grinned and puffed out his chest, looking quite proud of himself. Susan showed the picture around to the others. Dr. Cockroach chuckled and Link grinned, pointing to his appearance in the picture.

"I know this handsome devil!" He said, slicking his crown fin backwards and winking at Susan. Insectosaurus trilled something at him which caused him to from and cross his arms. "Hey!" Link said. Susan and the others laughed, and the giant woman placed the picture up on her bedside table. Link scuttled back down to the floor, sharing a fist-bump with B.O.B. and grinning. Susan looked back down at her boys, wondering how she had been blessed with such amazing friends. Oh, yeah. A giant Quantonium meteorite. The giant woman bent down, saying something she hadn't said to anyone in quite a while.

"I love you guys." She said softly, her blue eyes looking at each face. B.O.B. looked simply ecstatic. He grinned like a maniac and leapt around the room, yelling out loud.

"I love yah too, Susan! Hah-hah! Susan loves me! Take that, Derek!" The little blue blob exclaimed in joy, pumping a fist into the air. Susan rolled her eyes, but decided to let this one go. Link put a smug look on his face, crossing his arms and puffing out his chest.

"Well, of course yah do Suzie! And…well, I guess I love you too. After all, what wouldn't I do for the girl who's like my…uh, really big, little sister." Link said, scratching the back of his head. Susan giggled. Insectosaurus roared loudly, his bellow echoing throughout the facility. Susan cocked a brow and looked down at Link to translate the giant butterfly's statement.

"He says 'Ditto.'" Link said, nodding and smiling. Susan giggled and gave her gigantic furry friend a pat on the belly. Suddenly, she felt the gentlest pressure on her right hand, which was resting on her knee. Blinking, she turned to look down at the little cockroach man, who had placed his tiny hand upon hers. Turning her palm upwards, she grasped his little hand gently between her index finger and thumb. He was smiling softly, his large hazel eyes glowing and looking up into her own. She smiled back down at him (noticing that a corner of his moustache was a tad bit messy).

"And I love you, my dear." He said quietly, hoping beyond science that the blood boiling in his cheeks wasn't visible through his dark claret face. Susan's smile grew even wider as she shared a very special moment with one of the greatest friends she ever had. The giant woman and the cockroach man turned to look at Monger, who was walking up to them. Susan reached forward with a hand to thank him as well. He took two steps back, holding up his hands.

"Oh, no. I ain't givin' yah no mush, girlie. But I am givin' yah an order. Get yourself all tidied up and well-rested. I received a call while I was out that there have been some sightings of some sort of dinosaur-fish in some lake out in Scotland. The fisherman I talked to said that the monster was eatin' all the fish he had caught for the market. I want you five to check it tomorrow. Might actually be somethin' this time." Monger said, grinning and winking to Susan before turning around escorting himself out of the room. Susan smiled after him, and then slipped her hands underneath the tray.

"Alright. This chocolate needs eating. I couldn't possibly eat it all. Who's with me?" She asked playfully, eyeing her boys. B.O.B. froze, and then began jumping around Susan's feet in absolute delight, thrilled over getting a taste of the giant treat. He waved his hands in the air frantically. "Me, me! Pick me!"

"I'm in! You, Insecto?" Link said happily, turning and scurrying up to perch himself on top of Insectosaurus's head. He grinned and roared loudly, confirming his partake in the activity. Susan smiled up at the two, and then looked down and cocked a brow at the mad little scientist.

"I'd be delighted." He said, scampering up Susan's arm to alight himself on her shoulder. She stood, carrying the tray with her and walking out of her room. With Link and Insectosaurus followinh behind her, B.O.B. racing around her feet in excitement, and Doctor Cockroach sitting cheerfully on her shoulder, Susan walked out into the common room. As she did so, she couldn't help but thinking that she couldn't be more blessed to have such wonderful friends, uncaring that they were monsters. They loved her, and she loved them. She felt a gentle tug against her head as the mad scientist began to absentmindedly and gently braid a lock of her snowy white hair.

Perhaps this week wasn't going to be so bad after all.


End file.
